Understanding and supporting your child's strong emotions
Feeling angry, frustrated or annoyed is actually very natural and more frequent than you think in children.
It is not the behaviour of ‘naughty’ children or children with a certain diagnosis, but usually emotional and sensitive children who are often finding this world a tricky place to belong.
Consider how you would feel if you were told ‘no’ all the time. If you had rules and regulations placed upon you or if you were expected to behave in a way which felt restrictive. How would you react?
For many sensitive children, the feelings of being emotionally overwhelmed, insecure, ignored or not respected can have a huge impact on their behaviour.
Ask yourself, how you feel when stressed or when you have a heavy workload/ high-expectations placed upon you? How do you react if you are not listened to? Be honest!
Children have the same emotions as us adults, but with the disadvantage of immaturity and a lack of hindsight. They live in the moment and their emotions and actions are usually reactive, rather than measured. Some children lack the emotional intelligence to understand how their behaviour or outburst may affect another or how their responses could hurt physically or mentally.
Giving children space to understand their feelings is so important. Listening to their emotions, point of view or reasons for their mood change can be illuminating. It may also give you the insight into their thoughts.
We know that thoughts have an impact on emotions, which in turn determines behaviour. It’s the cycle for both positive and negative circumstances. Positive thoughts, stimulate happy feelings which leads to the person acting with kindness, compassion, laughter and happiness. If negative thoughts are circling and snowboarding out of control, then their mood will reflect this and they will likely to react in temper, frustration or sadness.
Sensitive children are fighting an inner battle to understand who they are, how they can fit into a model of expected behaviour and can often experience feelings of being mis-understood.
So how can we support our sensitive children? With compassion and understanding. Give them time to express how they feel, model the tools to help them remain calm and demonstrate strategies which support their emotions. Getting cross only fuels the negative emotions they are experiencing, making them even more unhappy and self-loathing.
Learning how to be guided by their emotions will open communication with your sensitive child and thus encourage a more peaceful and respected relationship.
Try to:
Listen
Understand
Communicate
Offer support and compassion
Educate - strategies, tips, tools
Model behaviour and responses to difficult situations
Know there will be relapses
Listen again
Spiritually, your sensitive child may be reacting to stress within the family home, picking up on energies from friends or environments which they absorb and which lowers their energy. Feeling overwhelmed is one of the biggest difficulties sensitive children face. It is particularly so because they are usually unaware of it until they can’t cope. Teaching your sensitive child how to look after their energy will be the biggest gift you can offer them.
7 easy and quick tips for clearing and protecting energy:
Grounding - stepping out in nature
Reduce their time in negative environments or busy places
Work with your 5 senses to keep you in the present/here and now
Water - whist in the bath or showering, visualise your body and emotions being cleansed or removed from your skin
Light candles, use essential oils, incense to clear the energy around them and to lift their spirits
Visualise a bubble surrounding them and fill it with protective white light
Call upon their Guardian Angels to look after them night and day (look out for an upcoming post on this)
These tips are useful for everyone and should be done as often as you can. Keeping your energy in tip-top shape can really make a difference to how you feel emotionally, physically, mental